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Pinoy Joke: No Look Good

One day, a farmer s horse had died and he needed another horse to pull his plow.

As the farmer was walking down the road, he saw a horse eating grass in the pasture and questioned the owner. “How much money would you like for that horse?”

The Filipino man replied, “He not por sale. Him no look too good.”

The farmer looked at the horse and said, “He looks fine to me!

How much for the horse?”

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Joke: Pinoy At Coffee Shop

Pinoy goes to order breakfast at a coffee shop in Manhattan…

Waiter: “What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?”
Pinoy: “No… Big cup! Big cup!”

Waiter: “What would you like for your breakfast?”
Pinoy: “Hameneggs.”

Waiter: “And how do you like your eggs, sir?”
Pinoy: “Yes, tenkyu, I like dem beri much.”

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Joke: The Filipino Driver Survival Guide

When greeting a Filipino driver, slowly lower your window and be prepared to greet the driver with: “Tang namo, bobo”. However, if you have been already addressed by a fellow driver, reply with a joyful “Tang namo rin, gago”.

On Turn signals

If a driver in another lane turns on the turn signal, do not let him go into your lane. In fact, press the accelerator and start driving right next to him/her. The fellow driver will probably greet you and you already know what to do.

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Joke: Child Support

Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.

Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.

Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya

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Joke: Long Distance Call

May bagong salta sa America na gustong mag-long distance sa Pilipinas.

Pinindot niya ang ‘0′ para sa Operator.

Operator: AT&T. How may I help you?

Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distans da Pilipins, plis.

Operator: Name of the party you’re calling?

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Joke: Let’s Speak Inglis

In the Philippines, most kids in private schools are forced to speak English at all times. A kid who just came from the province and who barely speaks the language tried his best to do so.

One day, the kid needed to go to the bathroom so bad but he didn’t know what to tell his teacher. He raised his hand and said, “guro, pwede po bang pumunta nang banyo?” (meaning, teacher may I go to the bathroom?’)

Since the boy didn’t speak English, the teacher pretended that she didn’t hear him. The boy said to himself, “what should I say (in Filipino, of course)”. Then suddenly, the boy raised his hand and said, “FATHER, MOTHER, I”, and quickly rushed out the door and to the bathroom.

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Joke: English Translations of Filipino Names

Remigio Batungbacal - Remington Steel

Bienvenido Jurado - Ben Hur

Federico Hagibis - Federal Express

Eleoterio Ignacio - Electronic Ignition

Casimiro Bukaykay - Cashmir Bouquet

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